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Research validates THIS technique

By on October 25, 2014
Picture curtesy of Tiramisustudio and Freedigitalphotos.net

We have written a few posts recently about Alter Mischel’s new book the Marshmallow Experiment. His book takes the position that those of us who can control our own impulses are more successful and generally happier in our lives. The title of the book comes from a child psychology experiment where children are asked to not eat a marshmallow placed in front of them, with the promise of getting two marshmallows if they can wait. The children are then tracked through college and beyond to see which are more successful, the ones who had the self-control to wait or the ones who scoffed the marshmallow down at the first opportunity!

Any way Dr Mischel also brings together research on dealing with heartbreaks. As usual, the best way of dealing with a negative emotion, at least in the first instance is using dissociation. Remember the NLP V-K dissociation pattern? Seeing the issue from a distance reduces the emotional bite.

Dr Mischel also suggests writing traumatic events down in the third person (as if they had happened to someone else). If you are doing this you can also suggest the client use the past tense for the event to further dissociate.

Here is an overview of the issue from Britain’s Guardian newspaper.

Talking about a failed relationship doesnt soothe the pain of heartbreak and can make some people feel even worse, a US psychologist claims. Instead of brooding over broken relationships, Walter Mischel recommends a couple of aspirin to take the edge off the pain and urges people to distance themselves from the event to improve their perspective. Ruminating on bad experiences could send people into a downwards spiral, said Mischel. Aspirin and a stiff upper lip are best remedies for a broken heart | Science

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